nothing to see, nothing do do

Just random mumblings...

I admit, I'm terrible at writing content consistently – especially when I'm not really entirely sure what the overall subject is going to be about. I've always been one of those people who, while I actually do like to write, it can be tough to just sit in front of a computer and type out a series of words that form some kind of cohesive whole – unless I've an actual subject that I'm writing about.

In the past, I've actually written news articles, game reviews, general round-up style posts for sites that fronted forums (remember those?!) and have always enjoyed that. What's tough is trying to write about yourself and things that are happening to oneself and still try to keep things interesting or entertaining.

But I guess I don't have to be interesting or entertaining here, do I? This is mine, this is for me.

The Holidays have passed and I sit here, waiting to sit in on a meeting that really probably could have been just another email, but – eh, what are you gonna do? In this case, I get to try to put my bit of input on what kind of laptop we'll be ordering for I guess the foreseeable future. Hopefully I can get listened to, seeing as how I really want to push for more RAM and larger screen sizes. We shall see.

My emacs journey still continues. I've been reading through the org-roam documentation and actually trying to use that more and more.

The keto lifestyle still continues on and maintains – I did manage to have a 5-day streak of losing weight for the first time in months, which was nice. I did have a single day where that was reversed, so I've started back on a new streak which is at day two now. I know that I don't really need to lose and that I should just be happy with where I'm at, but, mental problems and all that jazz.

As having previously noted, I've been reading the Dragon Lance novels to my kids before bedtime and have made really good progress on that front. We're currently about halfway – maybe a bit more – through Dragons of Summer Flame (I think that's the title...there are so many “Dragons of” titles). Last night's episode was kind of difficult to finish up and was actually fairly emotional for me. I've had a couple of points during reading the complete series that have been a bit wrenching, but this one was definitely challenging. Luckily, it was only a handful of paragraphs at the end of the chapter. If you've read them, you probably know what I'm referring to here. There haven't been a whole lot of books that bring tears out and I definitely didn't expect a Dragon Lance book – of all things! – to be one of them.

With that, we shall call this entry finished.

First, I absolutely do realize that my personal struggle or struggles aren't going to be anywhere close to what other people are going through. I would hope, though, that my struggle with food (in this case) might help somebody make a turn.

Even if that somebody is the author of this article.

As of last August I've been living the keto lifestyle for three years. I've dropped in the neighborhood of 150 pounds. My jeans have gone from 54 to 28/30 inches. I routinely wear a size small shirt, from 3XL. Most people would probably say that I've done good. Even those who have made the same journey have told me that I've done very well.

Most of these three years have actually been pure maintenance of this change of life. Since about late July of this year, I've been struggling mentally to keep this going. I had been doing just fine, having come to grips with being okay with my weight of 175 pounds, and being told by those that are important to me that at 6 foot 2 I didn't need to be any lower. I have spent a couple of days sub 170, and will admit that was a bit much low for my size.

But, something has changed and I can't put a finger on it. My weight has been hovering in the sub 185 range – something that scares me to no end. To me, that's way to close to 200. I can't do that again.

I don't crave the same crappy food that I used to snack on, but what I do crave are things like macadamia nuts, natural peanut butter, silly Adkins snack bars that all taste the same to me.... At least it's not cookies and donuts.

Sigh. At the beginning of this journey I was totally and completely in. If it was a food item and went into my body it also went into my tracking app. Then that slowly started receding (kind of like my hairline I guess). Tomorrow is Halloween. Tomorrow I get back on this train, for the fourth time this week.

Here I sit, not quite halfway through with my current vacation. Plans were made, well, I suppose they could be called plans – it is not like we had ideas to go anywhere, because that we did not. Much like my last vacation, I generally like to make some kind of plan to do something – anything! – with the garage.

Aye, the eyesore and bane of my existence! I loathe our garage. Every single time that I open the dividing door between our kitchen and the garage, I want to rip my eyes out of their sockets and throw them out the door. Our garage is like a portal to the seventh level of hell. It's the place where everything near and dear to us goes to die, to continue its existence in purgatory.

I'm not a fan of our garage.

At one point in time, it would have been something of a desire of mine to perhaps have a wood working area – which would have been the garage. I don't know why I wanted this, I don't own anything other than a battery powered circular saw for actually doing wood working. Yet, I always wanted that garage shop area. I think it's safe to say that at this point, that will not likely happen. Not without actually going out there and tackling the disgrace that is the garage.

Now, all that said, I've actually made some progress this time. I need to make more, but, I figure that it's similar to studying: work it out in 20 to 30 minute stints that way as to not get completely overwhelmed. This time, I think I'm only just whelmed. Ha. It's still quite a lot do to.

I suppose I should really be out there. Sigh.

This past early August, the 8th specifically, was the third anniversary of my lifestyle change over to the ketogenic persuasion. Quite possibly the second best decision that I have ever made in my life, and most definitely one that should have been made earlier. All told, though, for sure better late than never when ones' health is concerned.

I know without a shadow of a doubt, that had I continued on the path I was traveling that I would be headed towards an early grave. If I was not actually diabetic, then I was certainly pre-diabetic and well on the way down that set of tracks. I was well north of 330 pounds, did not care what went into my body, was just a mess in general.

My wife and I had talked about going keto for over a decade. We always had excuses, however: it's too expensive, it's too difficult, we'll fail anyhow, so on and so forth – we all know that drill I'm sure. We were both overweight, and we were both sick and tired and fed up with being obese.

So we just made the change. Like a switch that was flipped on. I dove into everything full boar, with a goal that by a year I would be down a hundred pounds. Seemed lofty, but doable. Well, I had met that goal well within those first 12 months, and by the first year I was actually already into maintenance mode.

Overall, I'm dropped over 150 pounds and generally weight in the range of 175-180. I'm six foot two, can easily wear small or extra small shirts, wear size 29-30 jeans and have never felt better in my life. Having experienced chronic back pain and sciatic nerve problems, requiring two rounds of epidurals to help alleviate that pain, being afraid of losing limbs to diabetes, not being able to sleep due to apnea...all stuff that I no longer miss.

Why was this only the second best decision of my life? Because making the decision to walk over to the wonderful woman who would become my wife, to wish her a Merry Christmas on the day before taking off for the Holiday at the time, then calling her the next day – that was the best decision that I've ever made in my life and the day that things began to turn around.

One thing that we have enjoyed doing for about as long as I can remember, is reading to our kids at bedtime. Well, that and just reading in general, although most of my reading time these days is at that bedtime hour.

Having more or less forced my kiddo's to listen to me read through the Lord of the Rings trilogy (only my second time through it) I decided that I would take a bit of a lighter detour and let them listen to Dragon Lance. I had not read the Weis and Hickman stuff in about a decade, so that sounded like an excellent idea to me.

So far we've read through:

  • Chronicles
    • Dragons of Autumn Twilight
    • Dragons of Winter Night
    • Dragons of Spring Dawning
  • Legends
    • Time of the Twins
    • War of the Twins
    • Test of the Twins
  • Lost Chronicles
    • Dragons of the Dwarven Depths
    • Dragons of the Highlord Skies (currently in)

Personally, my favorite would have to the the Legends trilogy...just so, so enjoyable.